we talked with our student leaders yesterday about how there are just times in our roles as leaders, and especially as christian leaders, where we simply don't really want to lead. and we talked about what our response needs to be to those situations. the students talked about how sometimes we need to push through it and "force" ourselves, but they also talked about how they think that some of the reason why Jesus sought time to himself was in order to get away from that need to lead.
and i really wonder if there was truth in that. i know for me there are times when i just really don't want to lead, or at least that i don't want to have to lead in a certain way.
i feel like that is kind of where i am right now. there are some things that i really need to directly teach people here about ministry, i think. but honestly, i really don't have a whole lot of interest in doing it. i really just want to lead by example and enjoy a simple working relationship and things like that, but i just don't feel like that is really what is needed here right now. so that makes it hard.
the challenge then is figuring out what the balance between comfort and pushing yourself is. that seems challenging to me right now.
but one thing i know for sure...i am enjoying my home life and particularly my wife more today than i even have before and that makes for an amazing respite and filler upper when i am a little bit worn out on having to do some leadership things that aren't necessarily my type of things.
thank you Lord for that!!
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