i believe that i am a leader...i believe that God has called me to be a leader. it is who He desires for me to be and what He desires for me to do.
as much as i know that to be true, there are just some times when i wish that i didn't have to be a leader. there are just those times as a leader where i know that God is calling me to do certain things, and yet at times i long so much to not have to do those things. and so i have been thinking some about why i don't want to do those things, why do i have those feelings...and i think that it basically comes down to the fact that sometimes i just want my life to be easy.
it is as if i believe that i have a right for my life to be easy. i am a christian, my life should be easy, right!?!? that is what my head likes to believe at times, but i know in my heart that is far from the truth. there is no promise that life will be easy, and i know that if life was easy, i would end up hating it.
so, sometimes there are these feelings of wishing that i didn't have to be a leader...of wishing that my life could just be easy. but i know this is what God has called me to, and i thank him for it so much...it is the best thing that i could have going for me. He knows way better than me...
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
A Tough Influence...
how do you get someone (in my case, a student) to realize that they likely are a large part of the problem that they are talking to you about. it seems so challenging to me to figure out how to help the eyes to be opened to see how they really come across.
i ended my week last week with a very interested and most challenging conversation with a student who was sharing about some things in his life that have been very challenging, and i just could not help but keep coming back to the feeling that he is bringing a lot of these feelings and emotions on himself and that he doesn't realize that or see that in the least bit.
i have been praying that God will help me to ask more and better questions and i think this is the perfect opportunity. i am striving to figure out what questions i need to ask and how i need to ask them in order to be able to really help him to discover where he is at. that seems worlds more powerful than just telling him that that is how he comes across. it seems so very challenging to me, but that is the way that God brings us to greatness so often, it is through challenging times that God brings us to greatness.
therefore, i will continue to seek out the right questions in hopes that he will see things differently.
i ended my week last week with a very interested and most challenging conversation with a student who was sharing about some things in his life that have been very challenging, and i just could not help but keep coming back to the feeling that he is bringing a lot of these feelings and emotions on himself and that he doesn't realize that or see that in the least bit.
i have been praying that God will help me to ask more and better questions and i think this is the perfect opportunity. i am striving to figure out what questions i need to ask and how i need to ask them in order to be able to really help him to discover where he is at. that seems worlds more powerful than just telling him that that is how he comes across. it seems so very challenging to me, but that is the way that God brings us to greatness so often, it is through challenging times that God brings us to greatness.
therefore, i will continue to seek out the right questions in hopes that he will see things differently.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Conformity and Neoteny...
i have been realizing a lot lately that i have so much of a tendency to want to make others look like me. i think that we all have that tendency at least to some extent. i think that i am pretty bad about it though.
i have been realizing and noticing a lot lately that the "average" UCM student seems to look and be a lot different than the average purdue student. but why does that need to be the case...why does that even matter...God doesn't see them as different, at least not in the way that i am tempted to see them as different.
i pray that i can begin to figure out how to look at students as God sees them and not as i think that they should be.
i read a great word this morning...neoteny. it is the "retention of youthful qualities by adults". i think that is so true and so necessary and so what God desires of us. and instead of trying to make people look like me, i want to try to lead students to discover a neoteny that allows them to fully be the person that God has created them and is calling them to be.
i read about this neoteny in a book called "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson and he says this about our creativity. i find it alarming and yet very motivating.
"I recently read a fascinating study on divergent thinking. Divergent thinking is intellectual originality. It is creative and counterintuitive thought. It is thinking outside the box. The study found that 98 percent of children between the ages of 3 and 5 score in the genius category for divergent thinking. Between the ages of 8 and 10, that number drops to 32 percent. By the time the kids become teenagers, it drops to 10 percent. And only 2 percent of those over 25 score in the genius category of divergent thinking."
that is incredibly sad to me. i pray that i can be a divergent thinker, and in so doing, that i can help other students not to be more like me, but to discover what it looks like for them to be a divergent thinker.
i have been realizing and noticing a lot lately that the "average" UCM student seems to look and be a lot different than the average purdue student. but why does that need to be the case...why does that even matter...God doesn't see them as different, at least not in the way that i am tempted to see them as different.
i pray that i can begin to figure out how to look at students as God sees them and not as i think that they should be.
i read a great word this morning...neoteny. it is the "retention of youthful qualities by adults". i think that is so true and so necessary and so what God desires of us. and instead of trying to make people look like me, i want to try to lead students to discover a neoteny that allows them to fully be the person that God has created them and is calling them to be.
i read about this neoteny in a book called "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson and he says this about our creativity. i find it alarming and yet very motivating.
"I recently read a fascinating study on divergent thinking. Divergent thinking is intellectual originality. It is creative and counterintuitive thought. It is thinking outside the box. The study found that 98 percent of children between the ages of 3 and 5 score in the genius category for divergent thinking. Between the ages of 8 and 10, that number drops to 32 percent. By the time the kids become teenagers, it drops to 10 percent. And only 2 percent of those over 25 score in the genius category of divergent thinking."
that is incredibly sad to me. i pray that i can be a divergent thinker, and in so doing, that i can help other students not to be more like me, but to discover what it looks like for them to be a divergent thinker.
Monday, January 21, 2008
House Update...
today is a pretty exciting day for cailyn and i. our house is ready for drywall and it is going up today. it is going to be so exciting, and yet rather strange to go out to the house tonight and to not be able to look straight through the house. i will actually have to walk down the hallway to see if i left my hammer in the bathroom. weird...
it is going to be a very exciting and eventful couple of weeks. the drywall will be done by the end of the week and the woodwork should be done by the end of next week. there is definitely going to be a ton of visual change.
here is a picture of the outside of the house. i will try to get some good pictures of the inside with drywall. when i do, i will try to post a few more.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Amazing Conversations...
i just had probably the most amazing conversation that i have had with a student....and definitely the most amazing conversation that i have had with a student since coming to central missouri. he was sharing with me how he had a pretty major encounter with God over break and about how God had really revealed alot to him about who he was in Christ and about what God wants from him.
as a result, he is putting many of his plans on hold and really searching out (i mean truly searching out) where God might be calling him and what he might desire of him. there truly is no better feeling than watching students really take their faith seriously and really be willing to think outside the box for Christ. i really believe that this is only the beginning for this student, and i am super excited to continue to dialogue regularly about how God is leading him and what he is thinking about.
as a result, he is putting many of his plans on hold and really searching out (i mean truly searching out) where God might be calling him and what he might desire of him. there truly is no better feeling than watching students really take their faith seriously and really be willing to think outside the box for Christ. i really believe that this is only the beginning for this student, and i am super excited to continue to dialogue regularly about how God is leading him and what he is thinking about.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
A Neutral Place...
we have been talking with the guy that owns the local coffee shop (he goes to our church) about the possibility of opening up the shop on Thursday nights (it is not normally open in the evenings) for us to have a coffee house/open mic/concert type of a night. the coffee shop is right next to where all the bars are, and thursday nights are a big bar night around here and so we are hoping that we can make this work out and that it can serve as a very neutral environment for us to meet students that we would never meet or encounter in our building.
there are a few challenges with it though. namely, we don't want Art (the owner) to have to put in a bunch more hours working. so we are trying to come up with some ideas that will help us to be able to man the shop without him having to. one of our part time staff also works over there and so it seems like it would be possible for her to manage the shop while we are doing our event. but we still need more help, and i think that Art would be pretty picky about it being good quality people. so i am thinking about helping run things there on thursday nights as well. i am really drawn to the idea of a coffee shop anyways, and so i think that it would be an awesome opportunity for me to learn.
i am trying to figure out though if that would be the best way for me to be able to reach out to students during that time. and i think that it would work pretty well....we want for this whole idea and especially for what the time ends up looking like to be very student driven and to be very grass roots and i think that for me to be behind the counter most of the time working and making the behind the scenes stuff happen, that it would free up students to do the ministering and whatnot. and of course, i would still be able to interact with students and when things were slow, i would even be able to mingle some and do some more talking and reaching out and whatnot. i get really excited about doing that part of things, and so i think that is a pretty good indicator that it would be a good place for me.
the other big thing with this, is that i don't want to infringe on Art and on what he has going on at his shop and whatnot. but at the same time, it is such an awesome opportunity for us to do something that would be fairly outside the box and that would look a lot different than anything that we are doing right now. i just hope that Art is receptive to the idea and that this is something that builds a tie and not something that breaks down the connection and relationship that we have with him. i guess that we will know a lot more after tabitha talks with him tomorrow. i want this to work, but i know that ultimately i must trust God and leave it in His hands.
there are a few challenges with it though. namely, we don't want Art (the owner) to have to put in a bunch more hours working. so we are trying to come up with some ideas that will help us to be able to man the shop without him having to. one of our part time staff also works over there and so it seems like it would be possible for her to manage the shop while we are doing our event. but we still need more help, and i think that Art would be pretty picky about it being good quality people. so i am thinking about helping run things there on thursday nights as well. i am really drawn to the idea of a coffee shop anyways, and so i think that it would be an awesome opportunity for me to learn.
i am trying to figure out though if that would be the best way for me to be able to reach out to students during that time. and i think that it would work pretty well....we want for this whole idea and especially for what the time ends up looking like to be very student driven and to be very grass roots and i think that for me to be behind the counter most of the time working and making the behind the scenes stuff happen, that it would free up students to do the ministering and whatnot. and of course, i would still be able to interact with students and when things were slow, i would even be able to mingle some and do some more talking and reaching out and whatnot. i get really excited about doing that part of things, and so i think that is a pretty good indicator that it would be a good place for me.
the other big thing with this, is that i don't want to infringe on Art and on what he has going on at his shop and whatnot. but at the same time, it is such an awesome opportunity for us to do something that would be fairly outside the box and that would look a lot different than anything that we are doing right now. i just hope that Art is receptive to the idea and that this is something that builds a tie and not something that breaks down the connection and relationship that we have with him. i guess that we will know a lot more after tabitha talks with him tomorrow. i want this to work, but i know that ultimately i must trust God and leave it in His hands.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Looking Ahead from Break...
after wrapping up the first semester here at ucm and trying to figure out what it looks like to run a ministry and to be a director, i am still alive and beginning to look ahead to second semester, which starts in just over a week.
first looking back...
it was a good semester...especially considering that there were so many unknowns. things seemed overwhelming at times, but we made it. i think that one of the biggest things that happened during this semester was that i was able to begin to get to know the students and they were able to begin to get to know me, and that is a major first step with all the newness and change. and on a personal note, i feel like i grew a ton and learned a lot in the process, especially about teaching and particularly the process of teaching on a weekly basis and what that preparation process looks like.
and looking ahead...
i am really excited about some things that we are looking at doing this coming semester. i feel like God is really leading us to put our faith into practice more as a ministry and to be Christ to this campus and to the world, and so we have a few really exciting ideas to try to put that into practice. probably the most exciting thing is that we are hoping to partner with the owner of the local coffeeshop (which also happens to be right next to all of the bars) to do a regular thursday night open mic/music night where we can have an atmosphere that is much more nuetral and unintimidating and where we can maybe even do some outreach stuff to the bars. at the very least, it is an opportunity for us to be present and have an influence on that bar scene. to be Christ to those people in some fashion. also, we are hopefully going to do a campus wide event for blood:water mission, which is an organization that builds wells in africa.
i also just applied for and got a grant to receive some materials from dave ramsey (a christian financial counselor), that are focused on teaching high school and college students solid financial principles. they are ideas that have really defined how cailyn and i manage our finances, and i am really excited about sharing the same ideas with our students.
i am also really fired up about taking roughly 12 students to Dallas in the middle of february to a conference entitled Passion....it is an awesome opportunity for growth and fellowship with other college students and i am really excited to share in that experience with those students.
it is definitely exciting times...a new beginning of sorts. i am excited to see where God takes us over this next semester! we will just trust him as best as we can.
first looking back...
it was a good semester...especially considering that there were so many unknowns. things seemed overwhelming at times, but we made it. i think that one of the biggest things that happened during this semester was that i was able to begin to get to know the students and they were able to begin to get to know me, and that is a major first step with all the newness and change. and on a personal note, i feel like i grew a ton and learned a lot in the process, especially about teaching and particularly the process of teaching on a weekly basis and what that preparation process looks like.
and looking ahead...
i am really excited about some things that we are looking at doing this coming semester. i feel like God is really leading us to put our faith into practice more as a ministry and to be Christ to this campus and to the world, and so we have a few really exciting ideas to try to put that into practice. probably the most exciting thing is that we are hoping to partner with the owner of the local coffeeshop (which also happens to be right next to all of the bars) to do a regular thursday night open mic/music night where we can have an atmosphere that is much more nuetral and unintimidating and where we can maybe even do some outreach stuff to the bars. at the very least, it is an opportunity for us to be present and have an influence on that bar scene. to be Christ to those people in some fashion. also, we are hopefully going to do a campus wide event for blood:water mission, which is an organization that builds wells in africa.
i also just applied for and got a grant to receive some materials from dave ramsey (a christian financial counselor), that are focused on teaching high school and college students solid financial principles. they are ideas that have really defined how cailyn and i manage our finances, and i am really excited about sharing the same ideas with our students.
i am also really fired up about taking roughly 12 students to Dallas in the middle of february to a conference entitled Passion....it is an awesome opportunity for growth and fellowship with other college students and i am really excited to share in that experience with those students.
it is definitely exciting times...a new beginning of sorts. i am excited to see where God takes us over this next semester! we will just trust him as best as we can.
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