Bridge Builders...

I am the middle generation.

I have two living parents and two living in-laws, while also having two children and a third on the way.

I find myself in the middle of two generations.  Seeking to honor the generation above, while at the same time investing in the generation below, and always desiring to love all of them well.

It's a challenging and yet rewarding place to be.

It is the role of a bridge builder.

Being a bridge builder is an incredibly challenging task that rarely get's much attention and accolades, but it is the substance on which the fabric of society is constructed.

Being a bridge builder is challenging and sensitive, but worth every bit.  The world needs bridge builders!

I want to build well.

Will you join me?

Fences or Wells?

There is a point in time where a ranchers property grows so large that even if he wanted to, it would be financially and logistically impossible to manage his/her herd using fencing.

What is the alternative?

If water is scarce, the rancher can install a well.  The animals are smart...they know their needs...and they will not roam further than where they will be able to access the watering hole.

The analogy translates to so many aspects of our world.

The temptation so often is to attempt to create fences.  It is easier and less abstract to create rules and regulations...to draw definitive lines in the sand that cannot be crossed.  But, the returns on this approach are almost always limited.

If bounded and limited results is the desire, then build fences.

Otherwise, build wells.

Wells create an ecosystem that is more abstract, but also have much greater potentials.

In many situations, through almost all walks of life, there is a choice.  Fences or wells?  Wells or fences?

What is your choice?

Buffalo vs. Cows

Apparently on the eastern plains of Colorado there are large roaming herds of both buffalo and cows, and when an ominous storm comes rolling over the mountains an interesting phenomenon takes place.

The cows can be observed running east, in an attempt to run away from the storm.  Conversely, the buffalo turn to the west, and run directly into the storm.

The result of course is that the cows end up enduring a much larger storm, while the buffalo shorten the challenge and get through the tough environment much quicker.

The phenomenon of these animals can also be observed in many people throughout the world.

There is a great temptation to be like the cows.  It seems like an easier approach.  And maybe at the onset it is, but not over the long haul.

On the flip side, it is challenging to take the approach of the buffalo.  Few people look forward to a challenging situation.  It is likely hard and painful in the short run, but it is almost always better over the long haul.

Continual Decisions...

Often decisions are viewed as one time events, when in actuality, most decisions are a setting the mind to continually decide.

Deciding to marry another individual is a set of continual decisions.

Deciding to lose weight and get in shape is a set of continual decisions.

Deciding to start a business is a set of continual decisions.

Deciding to buy a home is a set of continual decisions.

Deciding to be a better employee, boss, parent, child, or friend is a continual set of decisions.

More decisions than not are actually a set of continual decisions.  If more of us viewed the sets of continual decisions as such, the world would undoubtedly be a very different, and better, place.

Middle Ground...

Life is like a pendulum.  

The forces of life tend to push towards one extreme or the other, but the ideal location is almost always the middle.

There are times in life where the extremes are the right, best and healthiest place to be.

But more times than not the motivation towards the poles is something more like convenience and lack of thinking.

Life is more comfortable if things are...

Black or white...

Right or wrong...

Always or never...

Right or left...

Do or don't...

Yes or no...

However, often a life lived at these extremes is not one that is truly flourishing.

The reality is...most of life is grey.  

And grey is often the right, best and healthiest place to be...for both ourselves and the world.

Time usage...The Timeline...

A life is a timeline, and there is a point where one begins to grow aware that they are reaching the "middle" of that timeline.

Maybe this is where many people stumble into a mid-life crisis.  Certainly an "explainable" result.  But with the proper perspective, it seems this position on the timeline of life can be powerful and informative.

The potential exists in the paradox of the two sides of the timeline.

The limited time remaining (or put another way...the imminent end of the line) breeds an urgency and intentionality to be living with purpose, vigor and vision.  The right side of the timeline says "use time wisely"..."do the important not just the urgent".

The span of time already lived gives perspective on how much can be accomplished in a given window of time.  In essence, it is the left side of the timeline that opposes a fatalistic outlook on the right side of the timeline.

For some, the middle of the timeline leads to crisis.  It need not be this way.  A proper perspective at the middle of the timeline allows a life to reach a whole new trajectory.

Time usage...Is it wise?

A simple, but profound question.

Dictionary.com defines "wise" as: "having the power of discerning and judging properly what is true or right."

The implication here is that one must stop and think before diving in on something that requires time and energy.

Again, this may seem simple, but is often overlooked.

This is not a stopping to think at the level of paralysis, but rather at the level of mindfulness.

Time is far too precious a resource to not be adequately thought about.  It's a powerful question!

Is it wise?

Time Usage...Important or Urgent?

Most time usage is enslaved by the tyranny of the urgent, when in reality the time usage that leads to true flourishing is the important.

One way time usage has been described is as a two-by-two grid.

Important and Not Important on one axis...

Urgent and Not Urgent on the second axis...

Not Important and Not Urgent is the true essence of time wasted.  Don't do it.

Not Important but Urgent gives the sense of accomplishment but are actually distractions and running in circles while everyone else is purposefully going somewhere. Most of the things in this category deserve a simple but purposeful "no".  For the few things in this quadrant that do need some sort of a "yes" the best answer is to delegate and outsource.

Important and Urgent are things of true value but are also the things that are relatively easy to dedicate time to because they matter and naturally have a fire lit beneath them to catalyze action.

Important but Not Urgent is the quadrant that distinguishes average time managers and masters of time usage.  Things that are Important but Not Urgent are where truly great and remarkable things are breed and built.

The tyranny of the urgent is deadly.  There must be a liberation to the important.

Time Usage...

Ultimately, there are only two options...

Using time.

Or being used by time.

In a face-paced and always-on world, where individual identity is often drawn from how much someone does, the majority of society is being used by time.

They, of course, don't see it this way.

Maybe this is because they are blinded to it.  Or maybe, though they likely wouldn't admit it, they are afraid of what would happen if they stopped allowing time to be their master.

Arguably, now more than ever before, in order for an individual to be healthy it is imperative to be using time and not being used by it.

This may seem like an overwhelming task, but it is much easier than many are lead to believe.

It starts with saying "no" with intention and purpose so that "yes" can also be said with intention and purpose.

Simple & Hard...

...don't naturally go together.

The opposite of simple is complex.

The opposite of hard is easy.

When something is simple, the assumption is that it should be easy.

And if something is complex, then the assumption is that it should be hard.

Rarely, though, is this the case.

Results would be more favorable if the assumption with simple things is that they should be hard.

Marriage is simple...and hard.

Parenting is simple...and hard.

Business is simple...and hard.

Community is simple...and hard.

Physical fitness is simple...and hard.

Time management is simple...and hard.

And the list could go on and on as a template for living.

Fill in the blank.  ________ is simple...and hard.

And sure, there are also things that are complex, but ironically many of those things are easy.

The Power of Being Heard...

Yesterday I watched a documentary on how IDEO seeks to be innovative.

Specifically, it centered around the question...How does IDEO seek to innovate?

One of the key starting points is that no idea was allowed to be immediately rejected.  Every person and every idea was to be heard and given a place.  To be clear, many ideas were ultimately discarded, but never immediately and never without being given a place.

Why was this crucial?

Because it meant that people were validated.  People felt heard...valued...listened to.

And why is that important?

Being heard is a crucial...maybe the crucial...step towards unity.  Unity is different than agreement.  Unity doesn't necessarily require complete agreement so long as all parties involved have been heard, valued and listened to, then it is possible for unity to blossom.

In the IDEO example, after everyone had been heard, valued and listened to...ideas were narrowed...eventually small teams were formed around just a few of the ideas...prototypes were constructed...and ultimately one new product was birthed.

Undoubtedly there were members of the team that didn't fully agree that every element of the final product was the best option...but it seemed clear that the whole team was unified in the thought that the final product was the best possible product.

Unification is key.  And it starts with being heard...valued...listened to.

It holds true in business.

In marriage.

In family.

In non-profit organizations.

In politics and government.

Ultimate vs. Primary...

Often we assume that these two things are the same.

They are not.

Ultimate is essential.  Ultimate is vision, purpose, direction.

Primary is the path to get to the ultimate.  Primary is the immediate of what you do, research, think and talk about.

Paradoxically and ironically, the only way the ultimate can inform the primary is to recognize that the two are not one in the same.

Ultimate is about the why.  It's simultaneously the foundation and the place we hope to arrive some time in the future.

Primary is the means, mechanism and mode used to traverse those two points.

11 Signs a City Will Succeed...#11...

James Fallows recently wrote a fascinating article in The Atlantic based on research conducted by he and his wife.  The article lays out 11 key factors that seem to point to the success of a city.

Read the entire article here.

This set of posts offers musings on each of the 11 signs.

#11..."They have craft breweries"...

My favorite indicator or a successful city!  And not just because a love beer.  But because it highlights the fact that the success of a city is deep and multifaceted.

Somewhat unexpected, yes.  And yet the logic, when unpacked deeply, makes perfect sense.

Fallows talks about how the type of people who are interested in craft breweries are also the entrepreneurially minded folks that drive the growth of cities!  In other words, success doesn't just happen.  Successful cities require intermediate places where success can incubate.  Craft breweries are those places.

I am currently reading a fascinating book by Stephen Mansfield entitled The Search for God and Guinness..."The beer that changed the world".  It's a piece of writing that deeply affirms this sort of connection between craft breweries and thriving cities.  And not only affirms it, but shows that this connection spans both time and distance.

Here's to both craft breweries and thriving cities!

Cheers!!

11 Signs a City Will Succeed...#10...

James Fallows recently wrote a fascinating article in The Atlantic based on research conducted by he and his wife.  The article lays out 11 key factors that seem to point to the success of a city.

Read the entire article here.

This set of posts offers musings on each of the 11 signs.

#10..."They have big plans"...

One of the quotes that has been most influential in my life goes like this:

"We overestimate how much we can accomplish in a year, and we underestimate how much we can accomplish in 10 years."

Both sides of this are so true!  I see it more and more the more years I have in the rearview mirror.

And it seems worth noting that properly estimating what can be accomplished in the 10-year window is far different than living in the future.  As a matter of fact, living in the future is likely one of the most significant causes of overestimating what can be accomplished in a year.  But paradoxically, part of what we must plan to accomplish in the year, is making big plans for the 10 years.

We can't just plan.  We must not simply do.  The planning and the doing must learn to dance!

It is true for individuals.  And apparently it is true for cities as well!

11 Signs a City Will Succeed...#9...

James Fallows recently wrote a fascinating article in The Atlantic based on research conducted by he and his wife.  The article lays out 11 key factors that seem to point to the success of a city.

Read the entire article here.

This set of posts offers musings on each of the 11 signs.

#9..."They make themselves open"...

Love this one!  Honesty, integrity and forthrightness are the way to go.  Period!

Unfortunately, today, openness seems to be the exception rather than the norm.  This then brings us again back to changing society through telling an alternative story.  Unfortunately, in many cases, leading out with proactive openness is an alternative story.  And yet, the implication is that change can find it's birth through the seemingly simple act of openness.

Openness is a choice.  Openness is something we make ourselves.

Not an accident, but a conscientious choice.  Why not, as individuals and societies, make the choice?

11 Signs a City Will Succeed...#8...

James Fallows recently wrote a fascinating article in The Atlantic based on research conducted by he and his wife.  The article lays out 11 key factors that seem to point to the success of a city.

Read the entire article here.

This set of posts offers musings on each of the 11 signs.

#8..."They have unusual schools"...

It has been said, "If you want to change society, you have to tell an alternative story."

One of the most significant engines for change is undoubtedly education.  However, one need not research very deeply to see that there is much that seems to be broken about the American education system.

The good news is, this story doesn't have to continue to be the dominate storyline.  There is another story...an alternative story.  Voices like Sir Ken Robinson, Seth Godin, and many others are championing this very worthy cause to imagine a school system that looks very different.  An approach that values the "unusual school".

The school system is in need of serious change.  It is beautifully informative that the cities that are embracing unusual schools are also the cities that are succeeding.

Can "unusual schools" grow to the point where they are no longer "unusual" but rather are the "usual"?

11 Signs a City Will Succeed...#7...

James Fallows recently wrote a fascinating article in The Atlantic based on research conducted by he and his wife.  The article lays out 11 key factors that seem to point to the success of a city.

Read the entire article here.

This set of posts offers musings on each of the 11 signs.

#7..."They have, and care about, a community college"...

I must admit, of all 11 predictors, this one was by far the most surprising to me.  It is certainly the one that caught me the most off guard.

And yet, as I internalize what would seem to lie behind this sort of predictor, I value what it seems to me to point towards.

And what does it seem to point towards?

A vibrant, thriving city needs people who are being stretched and grown at all levels of society.

Proximity to a research university provides great things, but those things are largely segregated towards a certain portion of the population.  Pairing the research university with a cared about community college represents a more complete ladder for a larger portion of society to be climbing on together.

I must also admit that I have largely been biased towards large research-type universities and haven't given much attention or credit to what a community college offers.  A community college's presence in a list of predictors of a successful city opens my eyes to the fact that I need to respect and value the community college.

11 Signs a City Will Succeed...#6...

James Fallows recently wrote a fascinating article in The Atlantic based on research conducted by he and his wife.  The article lays out 11 key factors that seem to point to the success of a city.

Read the entire article here.

This set of posts offers musings on each of the 11 signs.

#6..."They are near a research university"...

I have spent the past 17 years in the university setting and there is something at the core of my being that deeply affirms the connection between universities and thriving cities.

In part, it seems there is a significant tie between the city and the economic drivers that the university creates and breeds.  On the other hand, it seems there is something more abstract and mysterious that university environments produce.

Some trends would seem to indicate that the success of the "traditional" university may begin to falter as we continue to move into the future. The tie to successful cities, however, would indicate something quite different.  

Universities will undoubtedly need to continue to innovate and change, but their close tie to the success of cities leads me to believe that universities will continue to be mainstays of our society for a long time to come.

11 Signs a City Will Succeed...#5...

James Fallows recently wrote a fascinating article in The Atlantic based on research conducted by he and his wife.  The article lays out 11 key factors that seem to point to the success of a city.

Read the entire article here.

This set of posts offers musings on each of the 11 signs.

#5..."They have a downtown"...

There is something beautifully simple and yet deeply profound about this characteristic.

A downtown has a way of "moving" something inside of a person...possibly even within the soul.

A downtown is the antithesis of "nature" and yet there is something incredibly "natural" about a downtown.

It is incredibly difficult to describe, and impossible to write a proof statement for, but that a successful city has a downtown makes perfect sense to me.

11 Signs a City Will Succeed...#4...

James Fallows recently wrote a fascinating article in The Atlantic based on research conducted by he and his wife.  The article lays out 11 key factors that seem to point to the success of a city.

Read the entire article here.

This set of posts offers musings on each of the 11 signs.

#4..."People know the civic story"...

Story is at the core of both the human spirit and human condition. (if you are not convinced of this fact, check out some of Donald Miller's great work) Therefore it is only fitting that a civilization of these very humans would also have a story.

The great irony is that while we are a people rooted in story, we are also incredibly adept at losing sight of our stories.  We, like it or not, need to keep telling our stories or being told them, otherwise we will simply forget.

Maybe the cities that don't succeed simply don't have stories.  Maybe they are just lame and boring.  I tend to think this is not the case.  My guess is that just like people, cities are prone to forget their stories.

Seems to me there must be people, or groups of people, who actively commit themselves to the act of knowing, remembering and telling story.