The Trials of Leadership...

i believe that i am a leader...i believe that God has called me to be a leader. it is who He desires for me to be and what He desires for me to do.

as much as i know that to be true, there are just some times when i wish that i didn't have to be a leader. there are just those times as a leader where i know that God is calling me to do certain things, and yet at times i long so much to not have to do those things. and so i have been thinking some about why i don't want to do those things, why do i have those feelings...and i think that it basically comes down to the fact that sometimes i just want my life to be easy.

it is as if i believe that i have a right for my life to be easy. i am a christian, my life should be easy, right!?!? that is what my head likes to believe at times, but i know in my heart that is far from the truth. there is no promise that life will be easy, and i know that if life was easy, i would end up hating it.

so, sometimes there are these feelings of wishing that i didn't have to be a leader...of wishing that my life could just be easy. but i know this is what God has called me to, and i thank him for it so much...it is the best thing that i could have going for me. He knows way better than me...